THE PANTRY RAID by Janet Cipolli

White Flour and Granulated Sugar were in a semi-heated debate when Marissa walked into the pantry. She had just come home from the grocery store.

"I hope she bought vanilla for tonight's chocolate cake,” puffed White Flour.

Granulated Sugar, still boiling over from their argument, "Everything is always about you! Did you ever think she might want peanut brittle?"

"What's with you? Pretty sour attitude you got there."

Marissa placed the grocery bag on the counter just below a shelf of snack foods. She stood staring at the bags of Potato Chips, Cheese Popcorn and Pizza Pretzels. One by one, she gathered them up, clearing the shelf.

"Hey! What's with all the jostling?" popped off Cheese Popcorn. "I was feeling pretty comfy up there."

"Yeah," cracked Pizza Pretzels. "I'm breaking up!"

"Didn't you hear?" White Flour laughed. "She has to cut back on salt and you're all guilty as charged! You're looking at some serious trash time you bunch of no-good artificial losers."

"That's just like you to place your sorry White Flour ass up on a pedestal." poked Granulated Sugar. "I heard she's switching to Stone Ground Whole Wheat Flour. Ha!"

"Yeah right, llike that will ever happen. Look at her. Right now she's thinking about whipping up a huge plate of buttermilk pancakes loaded with butter and maple syrup. Stone Ground Wheat Flour is only good for one thing."

"And what's that?" asked Potato Chips right before she crushed him and threw him in the trash bin. White Flour's answer couldn't be heard above the ear-crackling screams of Pizza Pretzel.

"Guys, help me, please," pleaded Cheese Popcorn. "I'll owe you big time. Help a buddy out!"

White Flour and Granulated Sugar looked at each other.

"Sorry dude." sprinkled Granulated Sugar, "Artificially-colored friends? Uh, I don't think so."

"Not that there's anything wrong with that." said White Flour, sifting out any unintended slur.

Marissa picked up Cheese Popcorn and removed its bag-clip. She uncurled the top and looked inside before reaching in with her right hand.

"It's party time tonight! We'll be mixin' and beatin' and cuttin' in the butter," rapped White Flour.

After two handfuls, Marissa turned Cheese Popcorn upside down into its final resting place, the trashcan. She then reached underneath the cabinet and pulled out a small food scale.

"Uh, oh" White Flour looked over at Granulated Sugar. "This can't be good."

They both watched as Marissa began unpacking the grocery bag. The counter quickly filled up with fresh Fruits and Vegetables, Skinless Chicken Breast and Sugar-Free Frozen Yogurt.

Granulated Sugar screamed while White Flour shimmied behind a giant box of Fiber Rich Cereal.

Marissa grabbed Granulated Sugar and poured it over the stale remains of the discarded snacks.

"Hey look!" snapped Carrot Sticks, "A sack of White Flour, what's up with that?"

Fruit and Vegetables, Skinless Chicken and Sugar-Free Frozen Yogurt looked up just in time to see the edges of White Flour vanish behind the giant box.

"You can run but you can't hide!" they all chimed.

Much to White Flour's relief, Marissa stored away the taunting troublemakers. As she turned off the light, White Flour contemplated his shelf life. Just a few minutes later, Marissa returned to the pantry. She turned on the light and reached for a bowl and spoon.

Fiber Rich Cereal nudged White Flour.

“Look, despite what you’ve heard about me, I consider you family. That's why I'm telling you this...RUN!"

________________________________________________
Copyright 2010 by Janet Cipolli. All Rights Reserved.