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Monday, February 28, 2011

THE LOVE BETWEEN THEM by Janet Cipolli

Harold and Winifred Munson were waiting to board a plane from Hartford, Connecticut to Miami, Florida. Winnie wanted to escape the brutal winter they’d been having and since they could afford it, she went ahead and booked a two-week trip to Florida. The elderly couple had never flown on a plane before and it had taken some convincing to get Harold to agree but in their fifty-seven years of marriage Harry had always ended up doing exactly what his childhood sweetheart wanted.

Now, after two hours of sitting at the airport due to an unexpected ice storm, they were both getting a slight case of cabin fever.

“Stop pulling on my sweater!" Winnie scolded as she straightened her sleeve.

Harry adjusted his watchband but not the sour attitude he had acquired since their flight had been delayed.

"I don't know why we couldn't have just gone to Atlantic City for a few days," he complained. "Look at this place, it's crawling with illegal aliens."

"Oh hush! You don't know that," Winnie scowled, "And keep your voice down."

"Why? If they can't speak English they sure as heck won’t understand it."

Over the past two hours, several people had sat down next to them but all had decided to move. Just as Harold was about to get back to his ongoing rant about the unfair cost-of-living freeze on Social Security benefits, a young man wearing a cowboy hat sat down in a seat across from them. Harold waited for eye contact before opening his mouth.

“Howdy there cowboy, where you headed?” Harold asked.

“Back home to Dallas, Texas sir.” The young man tipped his hat towards the couple.

“Oh my,” said Winifred, delighted to see such manners in a young person, “What brings you way up here?” she asked with a smile.

“Well, ma’am,” he took his hat off and placed it on the seat next to him, “I was here to attend a funeral—my Dad passed away last week.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Winifred’s face scrunched up as if she were in pain.

“Why was your Dad way up here?” Harry probed, then added with a spark. “I’ll bet it was to get away from all them illegal aliens, wasn’t it?”

"Enough with the aliens!" snapped Winnie.

The young man naively turned to Harold to answer his question.

“No sir, my father was forced to leave Texas some years back for coming out as an openly gay Republican.”

Harold arched his eyebrows, “Your father was a Republican?”

“Wait a minute,” Winnie waved her hand at her husband, “How could your father be gay?” she asked.

“It wasn’t easy,” continued the young cowboy, “First, he had to have my mother’s hands surgically removed from around his neck…”

“Hey!” blurted Harold, “Was that her on 60 Minutes?”

“Will you shut up for a second?” Winifred scolded.

Harry turned to his wife to offer a response but she was already addressing the young man.

“Your mother must have been devastated,” offering him a sympathetic look.

“Well, if I woke up next to a Republican I’d be pretty devastated too,” piped Harry.

Winnie looked at her husband, “I’m a Republican dear."

A booming voice over the airport’s loudspeaker announced the boarding of all passengers to Dallas, Texas. The young cowboy quickly put on his hat and graciously bid the elderly couple goodbye.

Winifred looked around at the dwindling crowds while Harold adjusted his watchband for the hundredth time.

“The storm must have passed,” she said with quiet anticipation.

Harry sat silently, staring forward.

“Harry?” Winnie turned to him, “Did you hear me?”

“I heard you tell me to shut up,” he huffed.

Winnie smiled to herself and gently patted his leg.

“Oh hush,” she poked.

“There you go again,” he said as he looked around for more aliens.

Winifred poked his arm. He turned to see her rosy cheeks and smiling eyes beaming back at him. They sat looking at each other and as would often happen, saw the childhood sweetheart in each other.

“Do you think we have time for another hot chocolate?” she asked coyly.

Harry perused the area of the beverage machines. “As long as a large gathering of aliens don’t get in my way.”

“And can I have some little marshmallows this time?”

Harry got up from his chair.

“You can have whatever you want Winnie.” He leaned over and gave her a peck on her soft rosy cheek before heading off to the beverage machine where a large gathering of foreigners apparently had the same idea.

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Copyright 2011 by Janet Cipolli. All Rights Reserved.
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Friday, February 11, 2011

CUPID'S BROKEN HEART by Janet Cipolli

It was nearing Valentine's Day and Cupid was nowhere to be found. His Supervisor decided to pay him a visit at his home and when he arrived he found the winged dumpling sprawled on his sofa in front of the television.

"Hey!" shouted the Supervisor in dismay, "What the hell are you doing? Do you realize it's only four days until Valentine's Day?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Cupid replied, staring at the TV.

"Well get up!" walking over to the television and turning off Jerry Springer in mid-sentence.

"Hey! I was watching that!" Cupid annoyingly shouted.

"This is the reason divorce is at its all-time highest," pointing his finger at Cupid, "Get out there and get some people to fall in love--you lazy bum!"

Cupid looked up at his Supervisor and decided to confess his doubts.

"I can't do it anymore boss," he sat up and pulled a pizza bite out from the folds of his belly. "What's the point? So they fall in love, big deal. They got nowhere to go from there but down. They can’t afford to buy a house, most of them are unemployed and those that do get married only end up arguing about money and blaming me, I'm sick of being the scapegoat for everybody's problems."

The Supervisor listened as Cupid continued. "Boss, you've known me for a long time. I was the one who convinced Burt Bacharach to write that song about the world needing love..."

"Yeah," interrupted the Supervisor, "and you also were behind The J. Geils Band's "Love Stinks!"

Cupid blushed. "I was pissed off that day, but now that you mention it, it does stink."

The Supervisor sensed the seriousness of Cupid's depressed state.
"Look, I'll make you a deal."

Cupid, with a look of doubt on his chubby face, "A deal? Who are you, Monty Hall?”

"I'm serious. You gather up your supplies, head out and if you can get 4,000 couples to fall in love in four days I'll give you a huge bonus."

"4,000? Are you out of your mind?" Cupid shimmied to the edge of the sofa, his feet dangling. "First of all, there aren't FORTY couples out there who want to take it to the next level and half of the ones who do can't even get married in most states. I'm telling you it's over. I'm finished!

The Supervisor wasn’t giving up. "Do you remember the day you stuck me and my wife with that misguided arrow?"

"You mean the one that was meant for Diana and Charles but I tripped over a rock?”

"That was the best mistake you ever made. I've been a happy man for many years and my wife couldn't be more pleased with her life. Did you know we got married on Valentine's Day?"

Cupid listened in silence.

"It’s because of you that our life has been so fulfilling. Even if you hook up just one couple, at least two more people will know the beauty of love in their life.”

Cupid's own heart was beginning to melt.

"Okay," Cupid spoke, wiping a tear from his eye, "I'll give it another shot."

He gathered his bow and arrows and headed out the front door. The Supervisor followed, closing the door on his way out.

"What a moron," he muttered. "Thank God I was able to get a quick annulment from that broad, what a mistake that would have been!”

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Copyright 2011 by Janet Cipolli. All Rights Reserved.