FAIR, NOT FAIR by Janet Cipolli

For their 25th wedding anniversary, Beth and Walter Chester decided to drive cross-country from their hometown in Massachusetts to Los Angeles, CA. Walt had always wanted to visit the West Coast and Beth had always wanted to go to Disneyland but both were afraid of airplanes. This is the one thing they agreed upon—everything else was up for grabs.
     You see, Walter is a stubborn man, always has been. In fact, on their wedding day he decided to stop off for a quick beer with his best man before heading over to the Church. His best man didn't think it was a good idea and protested until finally giving up. That's what most people do around Walter—he runs you down until it's easier to just give up.
     This car trip was proving to be no exception.
     Beth, the sensible half of this duo, made sure the couple had every map of every state they would be passing through and had the GPS navigation system checked and double-checked by their friendly mechanic. So, after three days on the road, why were they still in Pennsylvania? You got it. Walter was being Walter.
     “There’s a truck stop Walt, pull over.”
     Passing the truck stop, “Truckers…all they know is where the best food is and we just ate.”
     “Maybe they can help us with the GPS? They must have one in their trucks, they travel all over creation.”
     “Don’t need the GPS. That’s what got us lost in the first place.”
     “No it’s not.” Beth reaches into the back seat and grabs a pile of maps. “You haven’t looked at one of these since we left. That’s what got us lost!”
     “Don’t need to. I know how to drive west. Besides, as the driver it is my sole responsibility to get us to our destination.”
     “Well, that’s not fair. I do have a brain you know.”
     “Is too fair and I didn’t say that you don’t have a brain. You just need to use it for things other than nagging me.”
     “Nagging you? We’ve traveled less than 400 miles in three days! At this rate we’ll get to California just in time to see Justin Bieber sworn in as Governor.”
     “Ha ha. Funny lady. Pour me another cup of coffee will you sweetie?”
     “You’re unbelievable,” shaking her head. “I’m getting really frustrated with you. I think I should take the wheel for awhile—pull over.”
     “I’m the man, I drive--you pour.”
     “This is not fair!!”
     Walter points to the right side of the road, “See that sign?”
     Beth follows her husband’s finger to a huge sign that reads FAIR.
     “Enough said.” Walter smirks.
     “Oh, yeah?” holding up her finger, “See this sign?”
     The domestic bantering continued for the next 2-1/2 weeks until they finally saw the words “Welcome to Kentucky”. Beth and Walter Chester will always remember their 25th anniversary as the year they both got over their fear of flying.
     “Pass me the peanuts sweetie…”

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Copyright 2010 by Janet Cipolli. All Rights Reserved.